A letter from Marcia Towers in Guatemala
May 2011
Dear Friends,
Participants singing during the devotional which opened the workshop on spiritual care in crises.
Greetings from Guatemala, where we’re beginning the rainy season.; In 2010 Guatemala had the rainiest rainy season in 60 years, causing damage to infrastructure, flooding and landslides in hundreds of communities, and crop loss. We hope that this year brings less extreme weather. But knowing that disasters are frequent in Central America, in my work with the Disaster Ministry at Cedepca we’re advancing our work to train pastors and church leaders in how to provide spiritual care for people who have suffered from natural disasters and other trauma.
All of us, but especially pastors and other church leaders, are called on in moments of crisis to help accompany and console people who have suffered unimaginable loss. Many seminary graduates even in the United States have talked to me about how they’re not prepared for these moments, and much less prepared are pastors and lay people in Guatemala, where ordination requires much less theological and pastoral education.
Bob Mitchell, Presbyterian pastor who led the workshop on spiritual care in crises, and Marcia translating.
Recently Cedepca was happy to receive a visit from the Rev. Bob Mitchell of Lincoln Presbyterian Church in Stockton, California. Pastor Bob has been working for over a decade with the local firefighters, accompanying both the firefighters and direct victims in their spiritual questions after experiencing devastating scenes. He offered us a two-day workshop with practical advice on how to be with people in the hours and days after these tragedies occur — advice so helpful even for lay people like me that I want to pass it on to all of you. We at Cedepca’s Disaster Ministry will use this information as part of a course we’re developing on spiritual care in crises aimed at caregivers such as pastors and lay leaders.
Pastor Bob’s long experience has taught him that if you receive a phone call letting you know that something traumatic has just happened to a friend or parishioner, you should:
- Listen to the request for help and ask for only the most basic information (are they still in danger? Can I come right now?)
- After the call, take deep breaths, pray for strength and wisdom, calm yourself down and remind yourself that this is not your emergency and know that you need to be strong for your friend or parishioner.
- Your goal in these first hours or days is to help the person function and eventually speak. If you find the person in hysterics, take him or her away from the scene and ask him or her to take three very slow breaths and to repeat this until he or she is breathing normally. If you find the person curled up, sitting or lying down curled up, ask him or her to take three quick breaths and repeat this until she or he is able to move and react. Then slowly ask the person if they’d like to tell you what happened, and if they’re not ready to talk, just sit in silence. Make sure you speak in simple sentences and ask simple questions.
- In the following hours and days:
- Allow the traumatized to ventilate as well as validate their emotions.
- Spend time with the traumatized.
- Listen carefully.
- Don’t take their anger (or other emotions) personally.
- Avoid being too “preachy” (“There is a time and a season for everything …”).
- Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse” — traumatized people are not consoled by those statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to understand and assist them.
- Avoid trying to force a cure too quickly.
- Reassure them that they are safe.
- Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding the children.
- Give them some private time.
You can also give the person this list of self-care suggestions:
Things to Try
- WITHIN THE FIRST 24–48 HOURS periods of appropriate physical exercise alternated with relaxation will alleviate some of the physical reactions.
- Structure your time — keep busy.
- You’re normal and having normal reactions — don’t label yourself crazy.
- Talk to people — talking is the most healing medicine.
- Be wary of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol; you don’t need to complicate this with a substance abuse problem.
- Reach out — people do care.
- Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
- Spend time with others.
- Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
- Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
- Do things that feel good to you.
- Realize those around you are under stress.
- Don’t make any big life changes.
- Do make as many daily decisions as possible that will give you a feeling of control over your life — for example, if someone asks you what you want to eat, answer them even if you’re not sure.
- Get plenty of rest.
- Reoccurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks are normal — don’t try to fight them — they’ll decrease over time and become less painful.
- Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it).
Thank you for your continued, prayerful support of our work! I can serve in Guatemala because you give. My salary support account number is MI910054. You can give online. See the “Give” line near my picture on my profile page. [You can always give online. See the Give box in the left column of every page. —Ed.] Or send your gifts, marked with the salary support account number in the memo line of the check, to: Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), Box 643700, Pittsburgh, PA 15264-3700.
Peace,
Marcia Towers
The 2011 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 286
