Building Community
When individuals come together to form groups it is important to cultivate a level of trust, foster new relationships and enrich existing relationships in order to create community. Community is experienced in an environment marked by mutual respect, solidarity and caring. Groups can come together and function but it takes intentional efforts to make and sustain community.
Presbyterian Women and the Churchwide Coordinating Team believe in a community of women in the fullest sense and are committed to making community happen. The PW Purpose says that we commit ourselves “to build an inclusive, caring community of women.” When we gather together we make every effort to engage in community-building activities that facilitate trust, mutual respect, solidarity, caring and relationships.
Building community within a group does not often happen by chance. It takes intentional effort on the part of the members to build trust, respect and understanding. We build community during informal conversations, around a meal, when we share experiences during the Bible study, when we worship or pray together and when we work or play together. Sometimes we find it helpful to structure time for getting to know each other by including community building in a meeting’s agenda.
If the gathering is large, divide the group into smaller groups of four to six for sharing. When participants break away, announce the time for exercise. In the sharing time, the leader should begin by sharing her response. Remember that some activities may be more suitable for a group that is already aquatinted.
Community openers
The following community builders may be used in any type of gathering or groups of women. Usually community builders are done at the beginning of a meeting or whenever new people join an existing group. It is very helpful to include the exchange of names in a manner that includes information about an individual to promote conversation and “getting to know&rdqo; each other. Community builders can be designed to assist group interaction around difficult issues, as an initial step in problem solving, as discussion starters and for getting to know each other.
Openers that require no materials
- What is your favorite _____ and why?
room of the house
time of day
food
bumper sticker or t-shirt
age
activity as a child - Describe yourself in terms of _____. Why did you choose as you did?
flower
an animal
a color
an advertising slogan - Complete these sentences:
As a child, my favorite game was ...
As a child, my favorite radio/TV program was ...
As a child, my favorite story was ...
When I grew up, I wanted to be ... - What is your earliest memory of church?
- With which Bible character can you most identify? (If participants struggle, list three or four and let them choose.)
Sarah, who had to move to an area she knew little about
Moses, who felt he needed help
Ruth, who became a widow, then married again
Mary, who received an unexpected message
Martha, who resented being left to work alone - What song title most appropriately describes you?
- If you could be anywhere you wish and doing what you most like to do, where would you be and what would you be doing?
- Find something your group has in common (other than the reason they are already gathered.)
- In twos, person A is the interviewee and person B is the interviewer. A only answers questions, offering no additional information. It’s up to B to elicit the information. After five minutes, reverse roles. Then in the larger group, introduce your partner by placing hands on your partner’s shoulders and speaking in the first person.
Getting to know each other
- Have each participant share their name, where they grew up, where they currently live and their favorite time in history and why.
- Have each participant share their name, if they are a morning person or night person, if they are an introvert or extrovert and their favorite vacation place.
- Have each person share their name, how long they have been a Presbyterian and the most memorable experience as a Presbyterian Woman
Discussion starters
It is important to have your questions for community building be related to the discussion topic and geared to elicit a personal expression from the participants. For the example below the sample topic is racism. Your goal for a discussion starter is to help people begin to get comfortable and more trusting in talking about an emotional topic. Each participant responds to the following:
- What is the nationality and/or cultural origins of your name and/or family?
- In the history or memories of your family do you recall situations where members of your family experienced or were involved in racism?
Problem solving
The important elements in solving problems are trust, how people understand the problem needing to be solved and the level of individual investment in the problem. The sample problem will focus on the decision to invest money in local mission or international mission.
- Share your name and one personal experience with a local mission and one personal experience with an international mission.
Difficult issues
Trust and a sense of security are primary in a group that is beginning to talk about controversial issues. The longer time spent in intentional community building the better the results of your discussion. The PC(USA) resource “How Should Congregations Talk About Tough Issues” printed by the Peacemaking Program Area is excellent. The sample difficult issue is abortion.
- Share you name, your understanding of the PC(USA) position on abortion, and your feelings or experience in planning your pregnancies.
Activities that require materials
- Give each person a sheet of paper. On one side participants draw a symbol of how they think God sees them and on the other side draw a symbol of how they see God. Have each person explain her symbol and drawing in groups of four or five.
- Give each person three index cards. Each should write one fact about herself on each card. Shuffle and deal out. Each person locates the person described on her card and writes that person’s name after finding and meeting her. After everyone has identified her person, the total group convenes. Each person is introduced by sharing information on the cards.
- Give each person a piece of poster paper. Have colored pens, chalk, glue, glitter and other craft materials available. Invite each woman to make a welcome mat to put at her feet. Ask her to think of herself as the house. Include on the mat colors, symbols, words of what might be inside her house (inside herself) that others would find if they paid her a visit. Think especially of the gifts, skills and feelings that she would like to offer others. Allow about 10 minutes to make the mat. Invite group members to share their mats with each other.
- Names are important concepts in the Bible. They carry the meaning and essence of who we are. In Isaiah, God says, “I have called you by name.” Ask group members to list on a sheet of paper all of the names they have been called. Who called them by each name? How did they feel about it? What name would they like to be called? Find a partner and share name information. Make a name tag for the partner, using the name she likes to be called. Introduce the partner to the group.
- One way to build trust is by sharing life experiences. Invite members to take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center. Think of the top of the line as the day of your birth and the bottom of the line as today. Divide your life line into quarters. (This will compensate for age differences in your group.) On the left hand side of your page, list thesignificant experiences you remember from each quarter. On the right hand side, list the feelings you associate with those events. In groups of our, share your reflections. Allow about 30 minutes for this exercise.
- Provide each member with paper, crayons, pens. Ask participants to draw a symbol describing herself. Think about appearance, background, activities, interests, family and concerns. Post the symbols on the walls or bulletin board (or on Christmas tree, if it is the season). Invite members to walk around the room to see the symbols, then talk about them rejoicing in their beauty and diversity.
- Divide the group into small groups of about four. Give each person a 3” x 5” index card. Let one person be “it” while the others express their appreciation for her specific gifts, talents and contributions to the group. She must keep silent until all are finished expressing their appreciation. One person in each small group will record the things that are said for each woman on that woman’s index card. Rotate until each person has been “it.” Invite each person to keep her card in her Bible, on her mirror or somewhere prominent to remind her of how important she is to the group.
- Give each person a sheet of paper, glue, scissors and a magazine. Using images and words, let them create a montage that describes their faith.
A possibility for discovery and discussion
Duplicate the following, leaving room for each participant to complete the sentences. Distribute the papers and provide pencils. If the group is comfortable with sharing personal answers, do so, but it is possible to circulate the papers so that each shares another&rsquio;s comments.
- When I enter a new group, I feel ...
- When I look at others, I see ...
- When people first meet me, they ...
- In a new group, I feel most comfortable when ...
- When someone else does all the talking, I ...
- When others remain silent, I ...
- I feel hurt most easily when ...
- Those who really know me think I am ...
- I feel closest to others when ..
- My greatest resources in a group are ...
