A letter from Darlene and Paul Heller in Malawi
June 18, 2009
Naomi
Dear Friends,
When we keep a baby until he or she is “ready for discharge,” what does that mean? When are you ever ready to let go of a baby?
The question loomed large with Naomi. Born to an HIV-positive mother, Naomi had been with us for more than a year. She had gone from a tiny infant to an energetic toddler. Delicate, petite, she walked early and was the ringleader of baby-led stampedes from the dining room to the play room. She was the leader of the pack.
Naomi’s mother and her three siblings live in this home.
We tried to discharge Naomi a few months ago. When we took her home there was no food, her mom was sick, the other three children were very thin and there was no foreseeable way to get food. Things were bleak. The policewoman with us said it would be criminal to leave her there. We felt she might not survive. So we brought her back to the nursery.
But since that time, her mother has started on HIV treatment. Feeling better now, she has started selling a few vegetables at the market and now brings in enough money to buy some food. The other children are looking better, and Naomi’s mom wants her back.
So we pack up her clothes, sippy cup and mosquito net and take her home. Her mother is thrilled to see her. Mom smiles and Naomi goes to her. The social worker agrees that things look better. We leave her with clothes, formula, fortified cereal and hope for the best.
Naomi has now been reunited with her mother. Her weight is stable, and she and her mother have bonded emotionally.
At her follow-up visit two weeks later, we weigh her. Stable! She has not gained, but she has not lost. Babies often take a few weeks to adjust to their new diet and surroundings. She is reasonably clean and is not sick. But most important, she turns from us and clings to her mother for comfort and security. She has made the emotional adjustment to home.
At the next follow-up visit, Naomi is still fine, but mom is very depressed. Her husband is not ever coming back, and she left her home village to be with him here in Mzuzu. With no family to help her, she feels alone and hopeless. We are trying to arrange for her to move back to her home village, a 10-hour drive away. There she will be surrounded by family and be better able to cope with her children and her illness.
So the struggle continues. Survival is difficult for those most disadvantaged in this slowly developing country. Today we made another follow-up visit and found Naomi looking bright, clean and happy. Her mom is doing a wonderful job. A real joy!
Paul and Darlene Heller
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