A letter from Darlene and Paul Heller in Malawi
October 29, 2009
The fall
Darlene and Paul with children at the Mzuzu Crisis Nursery.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing. It’s like walking into a surprise party for two. Falling out of love is a painful thing. It’s like walking out of a funeral home. Yet, as I remind couples when I preach a marriage homily, the honeymoon always ends. Sooner or later we hit the ground and fall out of love. Only then does the work of real love begin. (Which is why most men should stay married — it’s the best chance we have for growing up!)
I fell in love with Malawi during my first visit here in 2002. After two months of immersion in Malawi life, Darlene and I became convinced that our love was real. Our desire to somehow return for a long-term commitment was undeniable.
Six years later (after two more visits), we said our vows and “moved in.” On August 7, 2008, we returned to Malawi for a three year-term as Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) missionaries. However, we soon became painfully aware that there is a huge difference between casual visits and “living together.” In fact, we had a devil of a time. The honeymoon was over, we hit the ground, we fell out of love.
August 7, 2009, when we left for a visit to the States, some people wondered if we would ever return to Malawi. In my darkest moments, so did I.
Nevertheless, along the way, we had also begun the hard work of real loving. Our feelings had changed, but our commitment had not. We were growing up. Returning to Malawi and the Mzuzu Crisis Nursery after our visit to the States was truly returning home. (Be it ever so humble!)
Exorcism
What the devil is going on here?
The devil,
the father of lies,
the tempter of souls,
the destroyer of hope,
gets a kick out of kicking us
when we are down.So we say:
“The Devil made me do it!”
Do you “believe” in the Devil?
No, not I.
Yet,
I know not
how better to name “it.”
The lies that corrupt my mind,
the trials that drag down my spirit,
the darkness that shrouds my soul,
Is real!
Until …
all heaven breaks loose
and I glimpse
The Light — The Life — The Love
of One who alone is
Truth;
the One who lifts my soul
Paul and Darlene Heller
