A letter from Paul and Darlene Heller in Malawi
February 2011
Faithfulness of Our Fathers
Traditional gender roles are still very entrenched in Malawi; take parenting, for example. A father’s sole responsibility appears to be that of impregnating the mother. After making his obligatory donation to the cause, the man feels free to go.
An orphan in Malawi is a child whose mother has died or who has been abandoned by her. Having a father has not traditionally entered into the picture. All of the babies being cared for at the nursery currently have healthy young fathers. It seems many of these fathers could care less. Many, but not all.
Chisomo.
Chisomo’s parents moved to the area so his father could work on a tobacco plantation. When the manager discovered that Chisomo’s mother was pregnant, his father was fired so the owner wouldn’t have to pay any medical bills. Chisomo’s mother died shortly after childbirth at Rhumpi District Hospital, and his father was left alone with tiny baby Chisomo who weighed two pounds, six ounces. The hospital provided formula but no care. But Chisomo needed special care. So his dad stayed right there for more than a month, feeding him every two hours from a tiny cup. Since he was so small, dad also provided Kangaroo Care (wearing the baby on his bare chest to help with temperature regulation and breathing). During that time Chisomo gained almost three pounds! A true miracle. We then admitted him to the Mzuzu Crisis Nursery as we had an opening. We kept him for seven weeks but dad was unable to visit because it was too far to come. Because of this, Chisomo was transferred to the Lilongwe Crisis Nursery last week. He weighed 10 pounds, six ounces and was a smiling, happy baby. Dad, also happy, now visits almost every day.
Jerrine and Darlene.
Our twins, Jerrine and Darlene, come from a village about 50 miles north of Mzuzu. Once a month their father visits them on our regular visiting day. This takes bus money. Last month there was no money for the trip but dad showed up anyway. He had left at 2:30 a.m. and ridden his bicycle for five hours (some on dirt roads) to get to Mzuzu so he could visit his girls. And it’s rainy season: mud, washouts and wet. He then had to pedal all the way back. This is a caring and devoted dad.
Moses and Marmen
Moses and Marmen are also twins. Their father is a pastor in a village along the lakeshore. He arrived at the nursery unannounced one day, babies in tow. It was heartbreaking to send them away, but we must work through social welfare to avoid chaos and to avoid being shut down by the government. We were able to discharge two babies the next week and take the twins in. Not only has their father been a regular visitor, he has presented the nursery with two of his paintings picturing the plight of women at the hands of useless men who could care less. This man is a gem.
Traditional gender roles in Malawi are changing. Drive around Mzuzu today and you will occasionally see fathers carrying babies, fathers walking with their children — fathers sharing the joys and burdens of parenthood. The faithfulness of all these fathers is to us a sign of hope. One day, here in Malawi, a motherless child may not automatically be labeled an orphan.
There is always something new at our blog, Suffer the Little Children
We enjoy reading your comments. Thanks!
Paul and Darlene Heller
P.O. Box 395
Mzuzu, MALAWI
Phone: 011 265 088 428 1134
The 2011 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, pp. 67 and 69
